Pseudotensor
A.Z. Louise
go, go before we get any further off course. i’ll be right behind you
ESCAPE PODS ARE AWAY. RECALCULATING
delta waves part and i am left sweat-drenched
shaking on sleep’s shore in the shade of
whispering, membranous leaves
titanium afterbirth left behind in my sleepwalking
leaves, hands, voices grasp at memories of falling into the sky
hunger chased by a plume of hubristic flame
alarms wailing as systems fail one by one
a woman with my mother’s hair – a waterfall of gray coils
pushes something like a hot toddy into my hand
rest, stay awhile. the ship can wait until tomorrow
it is tomorrow
the rituals of this place are so familiar that i wonder if i didn’t fall
forward in time and land at home among family
imagine these are my sister’s descendants waiting
for their skylost ancestor to come home and tell stories
that have become a game of telephone
imagine a distant radio signal degrading until only the lesson remains:
stay the course even when Vernier thrusters have failed
and your inner ear is as useless as your nav board
and someday the universe will spit you out
the mission is failed but the arc completes the circle
it doesn’t matter now. come out of the cold.
though the sea of faces are familiar as family
i miss the way a fireplace crackles with hunger
for the only sparks here are the many stars in the sky
identical to the ones at home but dancing to other songs
the nights are long enough now that i return to the ship
metal my cradle and the galaxy my blanket
i reach up to catch the fabric in my bare hands
leaves come down instead and drift to the forest floor
following paths not calculable in derivatives
math is math and the sky is the sky and you are here. be at peace
A.Z. Louise is a civil engineer-turned-writer of speculative things, whose conure keeps them company during the writing process. When not reading or writing, they can be found playing folk instruments, knitting, or weaving. Links to their work can be found at azlouise.com.
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